I don't
do webcam...
I don't
do broccoli either. Not that I'm prejudiced against that specific
vegetable. I just don't don't like the taste, the look or the
experience of it.
Why no
webcam – that's a self confidence thing. I don't like the look of
myself, so I'm not going to try and show my body, in all it's naked
spendour terror to anyone, particularly in a sexual
context. Sound familiar to anyone reading this?
The fear
of rejection based on our appearance is a strong one in our society
today, particularly when you can barely pick up a newspaper without
seeing some woman get criticised because she's put on weight, or
rather, isn't like a stick insect.
The
inconsistency of it does my head in. We see the page 3 'stunners'
with big breasts and that's deemed acceptable, because, well, they
get them out for us to see. We celebrate the curved asses of Kim
Kardashian, Beyonce and Jennifer Lopez because they look good,
because they're 'real' and 'feminine' and 'sexy'.
So
apparently having a curvy ass and big breasts is good. But on no
account is it acceptable to have anything other than a flat stomach.
No way. The press will kill you with a thousand paper cuts if you
show so much as a curve, ripple or hint of a belly.
I read a
headline this morning about a member of the craparzzi suing Lindsay
Lohan because he got hit by a car her assistant was driving as they
left a restaurant or something. Now, I loathe Lindsay Lohan. I think
she's a fuck-up, an egomanical asshole and a waste of potential. But,
I don't think she deserves the hounding the press give her on a
constant basis.
If you
don't believe me, watch some of the videos on youtube of the paparzzi
getting in celebrities faces and making it impossible for them to go
anywhere. They're bottom-feeding scum with no morals and I detest
them. However, I'm veering off the message here.
The way
the media, TV and the Movie industry portray women, the way they
criticise them, bitch about their appearance, and belittle people in
general is pretty appalling. I think they have a lot to answer for in
todays society with regard to how women feel about themselves, and
for that matter, men too, although we generally get off lightly in
comparison.
I hate
that a woman is made to feel ashamed or self-conscious because she
has curves, big hips, a big ass, big tits or bingo wings. The same
goes for a woman who's naturally petite, flat-chested, with a tiny
ass. It's not fair, it's not right, and it's not good.
Speaking
personally, I like a woman to look like a woman. I don't care if
she's deemed overweight. I don't care if she has big hips or not. I
don't care if her breasts are perky, saggy or point out at diagonals.
Neither do I care if she's had cosmetic surgery. (Unless it's to have
her penis removed – then we need to talk)
It
should be all about the character you are, not the physical shape you
come in. Personality is what matters. Your sense of humour, your
likes and dislikes, if you like it in the pooper, if you detest
broccoli. All that stuff is what makes us who we are, much more so
than if our bodies are deemed 'media-acceptable'.
At least to me..... but I still don't do webcams.
Also,
because I don't have one.
JJ
I *love* brocolli!
ReplyDeleteI *despise* my body (shrug)
Despite my youngest now being 7 years old, I still have some baby belly.....gone is the toned, tight tummy I used to have, and it makes me very self conscious of it.
I'm never going to be a size 6/8 again, that I can accept. But it doesn't mean I have to like what I do have.
And you'll never see that via a cam, fuck no! Can't think of anything worse tbh.
B x
Can't think of anything worse? lol... where's your imagination? :D
ReplyDeleteBut I know what you mean, and I know how you feel. I'm what I delicately describe as 'portly' or 'cuddly' and I don't consider myself attractive for a variety of reasons.
However, I don't feel that way because of what the media dictate I should look like.
Still, I'm very disappointed in you, flip. Liking Broccoli? Urgh :p
JJ :)
ps Thanks for being the first person to comment on my blog!
I'm with you on webcams.I hate 'em. However I recently had an aesthetic revelation about the beauty of imperfection. The social constructs of beauty we are bombarded with are just that; constructs. They are as lifeless and meaningless as a doll rolling off the conveyor belt with a thousand other plastic clones. It is the very evanescence and mutability of our flesh that is beautiful. Give me wrinkles, scars, muffin tops and stretch marks any day. The marks of life speak of our experiences, they live and breathe.
ReplyDeleteMy imagination is being used elsewhere, hence the lack of creativity on my initial comment ;)
ReplyDeleteBut still the thought of being exposed on cam is shudderworthy....aswell as being, for me, a very cold and unemotional way to interact.
And yes, brocolli is my fav veg *so spank me* :p
Bx
ps. no worries :)
Marguerite - that was like reading poetry, and I absolutely agree about how our bodies speak of our experience. The human body is a beautiful thing, in all its shapes and sizes.
ReplyDeleteI can say that aesthetically, but not in person about myself though, hypocritical as that statement is. However it takes time to reconcile the inconsistencies within us, and I'll get there one day.
Flip - I entirely agree. Webcamming is really not for me, but I know why it works for others. However, we really need to talk about thie Broccoli thing. That's not right to show such enthusiasm.
And yes, just for that I would spank you. Until your bruises came up like purple broccoli. (Only because I can't make them green!) :D
JJ
Great post,I love the blog! I tried webcam once and being that I'm terribly shy all I could do was blush and turn it off as quickly as possible! So, it is not for me either! I do like broccoli :P
ReplyDeleteFor years I've struggled with trying to be perfect, get back the body I had at 16, before the three children I had and breast fed. This year I'm finally deciding to embrace who I am and what makes me feel sexy and happy. It's a shame a woman has to struggle so much to meet others approval, it's bad enough we have our own body image ideal
to deal with!
XOXO
Aeva
@ Aeva - your blog is pretty awesome too!
ReplyDeleteAnd oh dear god, another broccoli lover? Nooooo! :D
It's heartening to hear you're trying to accept that who you are and what you look like is valid, attractive and real. And I entirely agree - I think it's shameful that women have to strive to look like a photoshopped supermodel when it's unrealistic to ever achieve it. The result - a self-perception that's negative and hurtful to themselves, inflicted through no fault of their own.
JJ
ps... you should contribute to the anon nude litsters project! :)
My relationship began online, in the infancy of webcams.. some of our friends used them. We never did. They've gotten better, clearer, now, but I still can't imagine having an intimate relationship online using one... it's too much between lovers, like wearing all of your clothes. To me, anyway.
ReplyDeleteHi Conina, and thanks for dropping by :)
DeleteI think circumstances and timing plays a huge part in it too. If you'd met your partner online now instead of in the infancy of webcams, would you have accepted that today the webcam or skype is what email was a decade ago?
I can see why some use them, and why some don't. It's really not for me either though. I like getting my hands on a woman too much for that!
And I have to add, awesome blog. I've popped by it a couple of times today, and I'll be visiting it again in the future too.
JJ
For me personally, I don't think so. We Skype with friends and family who are far away, but to consider doing it as an intimate thing would feel wrong to me. I suppose it'd feel like.. I dunno, having sex in my family's rooms? While they were there?
DeleteBut even back a decade ago we didn't use email that much. Mostly ICQ/AIM/phone (which was rare but a treat), with email for longer expressions of desire/fantasies.
It's wonderful that all these options exist, though!
Thanks for the compliment - your blog is shaping up to be awesome as well. :)