Pushing The Buttons

Pushing The Buttons

It's something that instinctively does it for me – pushing her buttons.

Every D/s relationship, regardless if it's a marriage or a one-off hookup has boundaries. There are areas where you're both happy to play in, areas where you have to be in the mood, and then there are areas that are strictly off-limits with high walls and guardtowers that trying to cross into is tantamount to suicide. Shot down in flames. The same goes in any relationship.

But there are grey areas too. Places where it's alright to push at those walls, test the boundaries a little. Sometimes you find the proverbial gap in the fence, and get her to do something she's never done before.

I love the grey areas.

Sometimes it's something she's never dared to try, or even admit out loud. Sometimes it's something she's feeling reluctance for, or she's had a bad experience with. Sometimes it's pushing her threshold that little bit further than she knew she could handle.

The power-rush that comes with being in control and leading someone into 'virgin territory', taking them into previously forbidden is quite a feeling. It's also a great responsibility. If someone is allowing you to take their anal virginity you better not just try and ram your cock straight in unless you want that fence with the small gap in it to turn into a forty foot high concrete wall wrapped in barbed wire and broken glass. With flamethrowers. The responsibility is something you can't take lightly regardless of what it is you're doing. You have to make sure that if they're in that place with you, then you have to be there for them. It has to be about them. Not about you, even if it's your first time there too. You're the Dom. That's how it is.

The trust they're placing in your hands is a huge thing. It's a new experience, a new feeling, a new emotion, and it's important that you don't fuck it up for them, because once it's fucked, it's fucked.

It requires restraint, which is a tricky thing to keep a hold of while you're exulting in getting her outside the comfort zone. It's easy to get carried away in the moment, so self-discipline is key.

And if you have that self-discipline, if you have the knowledge of what to do and how to do it, the patience and thought to make it about her and not you, and her trust, then the confidence you need to lead her there comes on its own.

There will always be areas that you can't go to with someone. Personal tastes, upbringing, morals, experiences and a thousand other things dictate the differences in each person, but there's always a grey area. Somewhere to be exploited. Somewhere to creep around in the shadows and probe for the weak spots.

That's where I'll be, quietly figuring out what might be possible.

Happy to hear your thoughts and comments on this, as always.

JJ